Wait, what the heck am I doing!?!?

…is the question I ask myself each morning as I get out of bed and prepare to meet the day at hand. This question has become particularly worrisome to me the more I’m made aware of the fact that Charly, the project’s Disaster Preparedness Specialist, actually thinks I know what I’m doing and continues to stack my plate with more responsibilities. The latest project I’ve spent the last several days working on…let me rephrase that: the latest project that has me sitting at my desk staring at my laptop thinking to myself ‘what IS this!?!’ and ‘wait, what do they expect me to do again?’ and usually ‘is that French or Malagasy?’ then finally ‘dude, I’m sooooo screwed!” is the development of ADRA Madagascar’s National Emergency Preparedness and Response Plan.

The reason I’m having just a MINOR freakout is that the NEPRP is kind of an important document as it outlines the entire disaster preparedness and response framework at the NGO’s national level. Once completed, the document is sent to ADRA Africa Regional offices for review, then up to the big guys at ADRA International where they incorporate it into their overall strategic planning budget and send additional funding back down to us little guys here in Madagascar so that we can implement our plan. So pretty much, if this NEPRP isn’t done correctly, we don’t get vital funding we need to increase our NGO’s disaster response capabilities throughout Madagascar. The end result of that scenario is that the Malagasy victims of natural disasters such as flooding, drought, and cyclones (like the one we just had hit us a few weeks ago) will suffer because ADRA Madagascar officials and that silly blonde American intern chick whom they trusted knew what she was doing were unable to develop a sound NEPRP plan in order to secure additional funding to improve the NGO’s disaster response capabilities.

Anyway, after wasting an absurd amount of time staring at this partially completed document trying to conjure up some unique ideas from the deep recesses of my mind, I was forced to resort to my typical go-to: Wikipedia. Haha, okay, just kidding. My other go-to…which just so happens to be looking at other, similar documents in hopes that they spark some brilliant idea I can use. Basically, I wanted to check out other African countries’ NEPRP’s and see how they put theirs together. I have no problem being that dwarf who stands on the shoulders of giants…I like to think I’m doing something like that rather than committing outright plagiarism at times... Okay fine, so I wasn’t really doing either of those extremes (and p.s. no, I don't condone plagiarism), I just thought it would be helpful to see ADRA-approved NEPRPs for other African countries to get an idea how we could go about successfully developing Madagascar’s. Sounds reasonable, right?

Well, imagine my surprise when I learned that the NGO’s NEPRPs for other countries are confidential and we are not allowed to get copies. You’re kidding me. Come on. This is definitely the most ridiculous obstacle I’ve had to deal with on this entire project. I can understand government officials not being too keen on sharing various official documents with our NGO. In fact, I expect it. I can even understand other NGOs being unwilling to share internal documents with a “rival” NGO with all the competition there is for grant money out there…but stonewalled by my own NGO? That makes absolutely no sense to me. I look forward to talking to our country director to hear the reasoning behind this.

Alas, Charly and I can get this project done ourselves. However, it would have been really, really, REALLY helpful to be able to at least see other ADRA NEPRPs. Oh well. Despite that little issue, I still plan on getting this thing cranked out with Charly before I leave. Although there’s a lot of frustration, a lot more work to be done, and a raging battle in my head that is constantly fighting the urge to become completely overwhelmed and just give up, the notion of contributing to this process, the development of an official national disaster preparedness plan for an NGO, keeps me from throwing in the towel. This is something I’ve always wanted to do, and now I’m finally getting the opportunity to do it. Suuure, there’s a strong possibility that I can fail miserably. Yeah, there’s a very strong possibility of that. But the reward of succeeding and possibly doing something that might actually impact the lives of people who need help, well that keeps me going. Yes, very idealistic. Very cliché. Very…holy crap, I’m starting to sound like a liberal. What the???

Hopefully when I leave Madagascar, we’ll have been able to submit this NEPRP to the powers that be and the groundwork will be laid for ADRA to expand its disaster preparedness and response capabilities in this country. That would just be really neato.

Anyway, in other random and completely unrelated news:

- The care package my wonderful husband sent from the United States 7 weeks ago that was supposed to be here 5 and a half weeks ago finally arrived yesterday at our HQ up in Tana! When the guys brought it back with them to Ambositra today it felt like CHRISTMAS! Matt even packed me a special Valentine’s Day gift: Twilight Forbidden Fruit Sweethearts Candies, haha!! He even remembered that I’m a twi-hard “Team Jacob” fan so he sent me the Team Jacob box of candies. I think my favorite thing about the candies is the inscription on the box: “The Forbidden Fruit Tastes The Sweetest.” Haha, so cheesy…I love it! Totally unexpected, but definitely one of the best Valentine’s Day gifts ever. Thanks babe!

- I made some bomb-diggity guacamole today with all fresh ingredients that I ate with fresh, homemade bread. It reminded me of those days, long, long ago, when Kristina would make her famous guacamole in our PUC dorm room and we’d devour it in like 10 seconds flat. Good memories.

- I’m pretty sure Renate, our housekeeper, wants my shoes - not that I blame her, they’re way cute…perfect shade of purple…. Anyway, I came to this realization when I walked in on her cleaning my room today wearing my shoes, lol. I guess she’s staking her claim in the hopes that I leave some souvenirs behind when I head back to the States.